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  1. #1
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    Ask yourself this...

    FROM THE WEBSITE: http://www.adultchildren.org/member-newcomer

    I was going to write a long discussion of this topic, but I now realize much is written on the topic, if you know where to look. Rather than be redundant, I'll just suggest you check out this link.


    The following questions will help you decide if alcoholism or other family dysfunction existed in your family. If your parents did not drink, your grandparents may have drank and passed on the disease of family dysfunction to your parents. If alcohol or drugs were not a problem, your home may have been chaotic, unsafe, and lacking nurture like many alcoholic homes.

    The following questions offer an insight into some ways children are affected by growing up with a problem drinker even years after leaving the home. The questions also apply to adults growing up in homes where food, sex, workaholism, or ultra-religious abuse occurred. Foster children, now adults, relate to many of these questions.
    1. Do you recall anyone drinking or taking drugs or being involved in some other behavior that you now believe could be dysfunctional?
    2. Did you avoid bringing friends to your home because of drinking or some other dysfunctional behavior in the home?
    3. Did one of your parents make excuses for the other parentís drinking or other behaviors?
    4. Did your parents focus on each other so much that they seemed to ignore you?
    5. Did your parents or relatives argue constantly?
    6. Were you drawn into arguments or disagreements and asked to choose sides with one parent or relative against another?
    7. Did you try to protect your brothers or sisters against drinking or other behavior in the family?
    8. As an adult, do you feel immature? Do you feel like you are a child inside?
    9. As an adult, do you believe you are treated like a child when you interact with your parents? Are you continuing to live out a childhood role with the parents?
    10. Do you believe that it is your responsibility to take care of your parentsí feelings or worries? Do other relatives look to you to solve their problems?



    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  2. #2
    Moderator
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    247

    A Caveat

    PLEASE NOTE:

    I feel I must remind us all that there's only been ONE perfect family, and that is God; all others suffer from their natural failings. NO ONE had a perfect childhood.

    With that said, there are patterns of behavior that are indicative of unique family dynamics, such as in families where one or both parents imbibe.
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Abbeville, Louisiana
    Posts
    81

    woah

    Quote Originally Posted by 4tRACY520 View Post
    FROM THE WEBSITE: http://www.adultchildren.org/member-newcomer

    I was going to write a long discussion of this topic, but I now realize much is written on the topic, if you know where to look. Rather than be redundant, I'll just suggest you check out this link.


    The following questions will help you decide if alcoholism or other family dysfunction existed in your family. If your parents did not drink, your grandparents may have drank and passed on the disease of family dysfunction to your parents. If alcohol or drugs were not a problem, your home may have been chaotic, unsafe, and lacking nurture like many alcoholic homes.

    The following questions offer an insight into some ways children are affected by growing up with a problem drinker even years after leaving the home. The questions also apply to adults growing up in homes where food, sex, workaholism, or ultra-religious abuse occurred. Foster children, now adults, relate to many of these questions.
    1. Do you recall anyone drinking or taking drugs or being involved in some other behavior that you now believe could be dysfunctional?
    2. Did you avoid bringing friends to your home because of drinking or some other dysfunctional behavior in the home?
    3. Did one of your parents make excuses for the other parentís drinking or other behaviors?
    4. Did your parents focus on each other so much that they seemed to ignore you?
    5. Did your parents or relatives argue constantly?
    6. Were you drawn into arguments or disagreements and asked to choose sides with one parent or relative against another?
    7. Did you try to protect your brothers or sisters against drinking or other behavior in the family?
    8. As an adult, do you feel immature? Do you feel like you are a child inside?
    9. As an adult, do you believe you are treated like a child when you interact with your parents? Are you continuing to live out a childhood role with the parents?
    10. Do you believe that it is your responsibility to take care of your parentsí feelings or worries? Do other relatives look to you to solve their problems?




    WOAH....

    I SCORED A 10!!

    Not sure i wanna brag about this .... ouch

  4. #4
    Moderator
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    247
    Yeah, not really something to brag about...

    But we must remember, many of our parents suffered at the hands of their parents. It's a generational thing...

    Forgot to mention, you might find this source valuable:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_Children_of_Alcoholics

    Wikipedia is the best!
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

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