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  1. #1
    Member
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    May 2016
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    Right now, visiting sis in OR. Tomorrow...?
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    35

    Anybody parents, dealing with kids?

    Parenting is hard.

    Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, your kids change ages and stages and you’re right back where you were at the beginning: overwhelmed, underprepared, trying to figure out how to navigate the waters.

    I know many kids and adults start drug use and abuse with medicine, including myself –pain pills, ADD and ADHD meds, stimulants–but I learned something new during the last school presentation: Kids are now taking large doses of cough medicine to get high. It’s called robot ripping, skittling, or dexing (dextromethorphan is the active ingredient found in most over-the-counter cough suppressant cold medicines). So, right under our noses, with completely legal substances, our kids can get high possibly starting a drug habit which could lead to addiction.

    The best piece of information I learned? Teens whose parents communicate with them about drugs are half as likely to abuse them. That means we need to talk with our kids about drugs. That’s not always easy and we don’t always know HOW to do that or what to say.


    1. You need to be a credible source of information. Don’t lie. Don’t exaggerate. Don’t dramatize. Just be honest and tell the truth. Your kids will know they can trust you and they’ll be more likely to ask questions because they know they can rely on you and what you say.


    2. Don’t put down the people who use drugs. We don’t want to judge our kids’ peers and speak negatively about them because our kids will become defensive and not be open to our communication–even if they’re not really friends with the kids we’re using as examples. Talk about the negative and unpleasant consequences of drug use (“you get sloppy,” or “you don’t have control over your body or thoughts”) without denigrating the people who use them. Talk about the negative actions, not about the person.


    3. Don’t dumb things down. Our kids are smart and understand a lot more than we often think they do. We obviously want to have age appropriate conversations, but we need to recognize that they understand and can process more information than we might expect. They’ll feel respected and appreciated which will also keep them engaged in the conversation.


    4. Talk. Don’t lecture. Make your communication a conversation where you’re both involved. Don’t just talk AT your child; ask questions and listen to their answers.

    “Are you aware of …?”
    “Do you know people who are doing …?”
    “What do you know about …?”
    “What would you do if …?”
    You can better determine what you should talk about and how deeply to discuss matters with your child based on their answers.


    5. Empower your kids to problem solve and make decisions. We need to have these conversations with our kids so they can make informed decisions when they’re on their own. We aren’t always able to be with them, so we need to do our best to prepare them for when they’re faced with difficult situations and decisions. Engage them early. Play out scenarios. Let them tell you what they would do in different situations; ask questions to help them think through details rather than tell them what to do. We need to feel comfortable that our kids will know what to do just as much as they need to feel confident making difficult decisions and solving problems.


    Parenting is hard. With the right tools and resources, it can be less so.

    hood

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Right now, visiting sis in OR. Tomorrow...?
    Posts
    35

    By the way of introduction...

    I'm a former teacher. I love to travel. And I'm a drug and alcohol abuser. I have 3 great kids that I love with all my heart; praying for a better world for them.

    hood


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