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Thread: My Story... to Be Continued

  1. #11
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    On a Sunday morning the following November, I found myself sitting in a small full gospel church with my husband on one side of me and my spiritual mentor on the other. I was very, very sick, so hungover that holding a glass of juice was a struggle.

    I can still remember the smell of the wooden pews, the numerous flags from a variety of countries that were draped around the room. I remember the singing and how it made me feel. But most of all, I vividly remember the love.

    I was in a desperate condition, yet somehow the love cut through all the darkness. I felt acceptance from those closest to me. I saw it in faces of the other congregants and could feel the love coming from them. I could feel a deep emptiness being filled. Most of all I wanted to feel and be normal like those I had seen in church that day.


    ~ 4tRACY
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  2. #12
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    The Pastor asked for us to welcome one another. My spiritual mother (MORE ON HER LATER) hugged me and something transferred. A love, a light transferred from her to me, its hard to explain exactly what this feeling was, but it changed me forever. All the people of the church greeted me with love that day. The service closed with the song ‘Amazing Grace’. I will never, ever forget the tears that flowed and cleansed me.


    mistakes-are-forgivable-bruce-lee-quotes-sayings-pictures.jpg
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  3. #13
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    On that autumn Remembrance Day, I didn’t take a drink. It was the first time in years—the beginning of a new journey—my journey. It was time to start dealing with life on life’s terms and having faith in something larger than me—one day at a time. I started feeling hopeful that I could recover from a hopeless state of mind and body.

    I started to piece together a morning without a drink, an afternoon without a drink, and then a full twenty four hours without a drink. Day by day without a drink, I felt more and more hopeful that I just might be able to stop for good. The spiritual principles I was learning excited me and shone a huge light on why I drank. Every milestone - the first 24 hours, 7 days, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days and 1 year - was celebrated with great joy and happiness that I no longer obsessed for alcohol or any another substance.

    This obsession was lifting. The light in my life increased. In part it helped to know that if I didn’t do as I was instructed, I would drink again and this time it would be one hundred times worse. My love for this new light and my fear of returning to that dark bottom and even worse provided me with the much-needed motivation to stay sober.

    Everything changed for me. The biggest surprise was that a group of women who knew how I thought and had done things I had done, loved me unconditionally. They showed by their example that there was hope for me to change my thinking and my life. I wanted that so badly I did what they asked me to do and eventually I got better. They greeted me with love in their hearts every time I walked into a room. I learned how to love myself through greeting others with love in my heart and serving others.



    ~4tRACY
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  4. #14
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    Tracey that's beautiful, what a great story of recovery!!!

    Also to share that you dont have to get literally into the throws of death to quit!!! I think sometimes people think they have to take addiction/alcoholism to "their bottom" or "the very bottom" I know I played the gambling game with mine and if I drank again (which I did, relapsing quite a few times throughout years of sobriety as well) I was sooo bad I'd have to be hospitalized because of seizures and dt's....even when I only drank one day. The disease progresses within us even when we're not drinking or using, it's a progressive illness and it IS deadly.

    Bless you for finding God, the true light and only with his Grace and our willingness can we find true recovery and freedom from this disease.

    Thank you again, I'll have to add my story here sometime also I just try to respond because I do have years sober and alot of experience, strength and most of all HOPE!!!

    God Bless!

    tdb
    4tRACY520 likes this.

  5. #15
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    Love it

    Tracy, I am so lovin' your story. You have a gift. It touched my heart. Thanks so much. I came here depressed, feelin a little empty but not knoeing exactly why or where it came from. I get those sometimes, like i dont belong.. anywhere. I wonder why we get those day.

    Oh my mom just died, brought on a lot of fealings. Maybe thats why. It just didnt connect at first. Anybody else get those kinda days?


    Babydoll, you are so right on! I reely wanna see your story. I bet youy and I have alot in common. I juyst dont knowif i got the nerves to write it. Be balling my eyes out.
    4tRACY520 likes this.

  6. #16
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    You both are very kind! Thank you.


    Og writes “Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men, and until I mast this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the marketplace. I will make love my greatest weapon, and none on whom I call can defend against its force.”

    “I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.”

    My new tribe of friends was saying the same thing just with different words. I was encouraged to journal a list of as many things and people I was grateful for.

    I learned that as long as I was trying to run everything and control everything I’d never get better.


    All I had to do was have a little faith that there was something out there that was and has always been looking after me and to give my control over to this Power every morning and every evening.



    ~4tRACY
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  7. #17
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    I was looking to deepen my recovery.

    A little book entitled ‘The Greatest Salesman in the World’ came across my path - perfect timing with a perfect message. I instantly fell in love with Og Mandino and the principles he taught. It was as if we were instant best friends. Og had accurately described how I had felt back in those dark days and how I currently feel at sunrise.

    In Scroll I, he writes, “As the words of these scrolls are consumed by my mysterious mind I will begin to awake, each morning, with a vitality I have never known before. My vigor will increase, my enthusiasm will rise, my desire to meet the world will overcome every fear I once knew at sunrise, and I will be happier than I ever believed it possible to be in this world of strife and sorrow.”

    Scroll II, ‘I will greet this day with love in my heart’, brought more awareness to a principle I was already practicing. I began to read and re-read this Scroll learned more and more about how to love at a much deeper level.

    I learned to find gratitude in everything. I discovered that my past experiences can help me serve others even more effectively. Scroll II changed how I see people and myself, how to find the good in, and to accept, all.

    I’ve learn how to “zealously inspect that which enters my body, mind, soul and heart!”



    https://youtu.be/Yrn-b7Jc6h8





    ~4tRACY
    Last edited by 4tRACY520; 06-10-2016 at 05:01 PM.
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  8. #18
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    As a recovered alcoholic, the most difficult endeavor is to forgive myself for the harm I had caused to those who love me. Scroll II assists me on a daily basis to love everyone which in turn teaches me to love myself. This Scroll also teaches me to find the good in everyone and accept people where they are, and in turn, learn to accept myself.

    Og wrote “How will I act? I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls. I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me! I will love the failures for they can teach me. I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine. I will love the rich for they are yet lonely; I will love the poor for they are so many. I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share. I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.”
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  9. #19
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    Og has taught me and continues to remind me how to love, accept, and serve others.

    He asks, “How will I do this?” I will use my past experiences, which heighten my empathy.
    He asks, “How will I speak?” I look for the good in others.
    He asks, “How will I act?” I will build bridges so that my love can enter their souls.
    He asks, “How will I react when others throw arrows of hate and spears of anger?” With love I will turn their hurtful words into the softest of rain.
    He asked, “How will I confront?” Silently and to myself I will say, “I love you.”

    This scroll houses the most important spiritual principles......love and acceptance of others and of self! When I’m meeting with new coaching clients or women who want to get sober, I remind myself of the love in Scroll II and share that love with those that cross my path. The freedom to be of service to others releases me from my ego and self-pity. I shall forever be grateful to sweet Og and his parallel journey that now brings much needed light to so many.

    Today I encourage you, in silence, to greet someone with love. It will change their life, and yours.

    Today, I share my experience, strength and hope as a Recovery/Sober/Life Coach.

    I became a Certified Og Mandino Coach in June of 2012 and am currently working on my second certification through Crossroads Recovery Coaching.



    ~4tRACY

    P.S. That's the end of my personal reflections. I wanted to let you know where I am coming from, and what my belief system is... and mostly, to see where I go to gain my strength. I respect everyone's right to choose. Everyone has a choice in finding and adhering to whatever standards they see fit, and I wanted to share mine without any expectations of reciprocation.

    There are some aspects that I didn't include in my testimony that one might view as an omission, such as my husband's death, or my sister's suffering. Perhaps I'll share that sometime. But for now, I wish to thank you for the opportunity to share.


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    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

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