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  1. #1
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    hello there

    i was addicted to alcohol for a year and went to drug treatment it hurt my family and freinds. when i got out i was clean for about 3 months, then i started heroin. it was a weakend type of thing to do in my town, everyone was using. one night i went to a party and people were smoking heroin and shooting up meth it was scary all i wanted to do was go home and cry, i thought maby if i shoot up some meth ill feel better so i took a shot it was painfull and i regret it, it started wearing off and i smoked some heroin and that i really wish i could take back and ever since then i staarted using heroin in school, at home, in treatment and with my "freinds". it was awfull i and at one point when i looked in the mirror i realized i was an addict again i got better and then moved to pills, gabapentin, oxycodone, MDMA and piparizine i wish i could stop but i cant. i really cant the worst part is that i dont even know why im addicted to drugs

  2. #2
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    Thumbs up

    A good friend of mine would buy all of us pills so we can get them cheaper. He didnt sell to anyone but us. He's not a dealer. Well one time he bought pills from a guy, and the guy ripped him off so he stopped dealing with him. A few mos later that guy calls him and asks him if he can hook him up. My friends told him yeah, but don't make this a habit, I'm just going to help you out. (My friend is a nice guy plus i guess the guy gave him back his money after he ripped him off) About a month later, same thing. Next month same thing.. My friend told him this is the last time knock it off. He goes to meet the guy and is waiting in the parking lot when 3 cop cars fly up, he's taken out of the car and arrested for possession with intent to distribute. Turns out this guy calling him got busted and when asked to turn in someone he gave up my friend so they set him up and the guy call him, set up a few deals, watched then busted my friend the 3rd time. Now they're asking my friend to give up someone and my friend won't turn anyone in. People suck man.. becareful who you deal with. you never know. yeah my friend was stupid for hooking this guy up after he ripped him off but I guess he trusted him for some reason when the guy gave his money back.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for posting your story, Arman. Your last comment in your first post is very interesting:
    i dont even know why im addicted to drugs

    I bet most of us don't know why we do certain things, or how it is we came to be in a situation. Sometimes, with help from therapy, we figure it out, but many people go through their entire lives without thinking these thoughts...

    Another comment of yours, "People suck..." is very common too. But please know that there are many people in the world that are truly caring and compassionate. But they are NOT your supplier! He's looking out for himself! Otherwise, he wouldn't be selling stuff to someone he really cares about!


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    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

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    thanks

    thanks, im trying really hard! I know ive got a long haul... but what's the alternative!

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    Arman I read your story, I'm sooo sorry it sounds like you've had a rough road with recovery! I did also, I relapsed years many many times and I did what you did which is "switch drugs". I'd get off like one drug, alcohol was my true poison, but then I'd switch to another one like coke or heroin that I wasn't addicted to...YET!!

    At the end of the day, we're trying to escape. I myself believe that addiction is genetic, I certainly did NOT raise my hand in 1st grade when asked what I want to be when I grow up and say "an addict" right?!!! RIGHT! None of us did!!!

    I went to a good rehab years ago, super expensive called The Cure/Passages in Malibu. They have a book called The Addiction Cure it's a good read btw you can get it on amazon for like $10 used or less. It wasn't AA or religious, it was down to earth and it taught that there were 4 reasons we use "addictively"...1. because of past issues 2. because of present issues 3. because we have a physical/mental/spiritual issue that is not being addressed and fixed correctly and 4. because we are not living in reality (this one tho I got it kinda was weird).

    I stuck with the others. For me it turned out it was really people, places and things. My husband (now ex) at the time was using, though I was trying to quit. I really didnt dig that they were telling me to get divorced, but honestly I did after that and it saved my life!

    So sometimes it's as simple as asking yourself "why or what am I trying to escape from?"...living life, healthy and free of the ball and chain of addiction is easier but it's hard if you can't see it's easier ya know!

    Willingness is the key, I think you know that if you've been to rehab right? Do you want to get sober? I'm worried about you also! I personally want you to live!!! And I can personally promise you it's a MUCH better life being sober, being free, than being addicted to drugs or alcohol ONCE you can deal with the true reasons why you're trying to escape life.

    I'll stop back to chat again, or PM me if you want. I'm praying and rooting for you to try recovery again!!!

    God Bless!

    tdb

  6. #6
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    Always, the purest words of compassion, Babydoll.

    Armanij79, we are with you!


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    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

  7. #7
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    thanks

    NUMERO UNO-don't trust anyone ever!!!doesnt matter WHO it is,how long ya been friends,whatever...ive seen BROTHERS rat each other out,best buds cop each other out,rip each other off,its a VERY SHITTY world we live in folks..

  8. #8
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    forgot to add

    when i was dealing awhile back,my supplier got busted,and he was the most honest upfront guy ive ever met in my life,and i had a good supplier "buddy" of mine,and about a month later,that "supplier" buddy is in CUFFS being hauled off..after court BLAH BLAH,he finally got 6 months JAILTIME,and 2 years random drug testing and some "other" minor shit and thats it,and he had a shitload of ROIDS on him,and a little ghb...


    don't deal people...if ya do,do NOT keep your shit in YOUR HOME !!!i cant stress that enough...u need "help" in the dealing game,and believe me,if ya have "goodies" and "cash: to go around,u will have PLENTY of people willing to "help" you,but the hard part is,which ones can ya TRUST???????

  9. #9
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    Arm typically we can trust our blood, our family...friends can become the biggest enemies typically due to GREED.

    I also found that along with the slogan "people places and things" if we hanging out in the drug world and thats our people we really should expect in time to be screwed over. It comes with the territory. People i hang with now, theyre not about that but they also are either Christians, sober or were never addicts in the first place...

    Tdb

  10. #10
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    I hope my response is taken the way it is intended... as a woman who's been on this earth for more than 60 years and have seen much in those years, personally, in my own family, socially, and as working in the medical field as a nurse.

    This is not meant to add further shame or angst upon anyone...whatsoever!

    I don't believe there's ANY such thing as "Honor Among Thieves", so to speak. It is a fallacy. No, each person is out to protect their own interests, or what they BELIEVE to be their interest at the time. With maturity and experience, our "interests" change, modify according to our choices.

    I do not believe our bodies were meant to abuse in any way. That includes using food to overeat, or undereat, for that matter. It includes ingesting substances specifically to alter our senses. Whether it's alcohol, drugs - legal or not, tobacco, and dare I say it - even coffee! Yes, coffee is a stimulant. Perhaps coffee falls in the "Moderation in all things" rule.



    Scriptural break...


    Proverbs 25:27 ESV / 78 helpful votes

    It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one's own glory.

    1 Corinthians 6:12 ESV / 71 helpful votes

    “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.

    1 Corinthians 9:25 ESV / 70 helpful votes

    Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

    Titus 2:7 ESV / 43 helpful votes

    Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,

    Ephesians 5:18 ESV / 37 helpful votes

    And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

    Galatians 5:13 ESV / 32 helpful votes

    For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

    Proverbs 20:1 ESV / 31 helpful votes

    Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

    1 Peter 5:8 ESV / 27 helpful votes

    Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

    Philippians 4:5 ESV / 23 helpful votes

    Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;

    Proverbs 25:16 ESV / 23 helpful votes

    If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.

    1 Timothy 5:23 ESV / 22 helpful votes

    (No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.)

    Titus 2:3 ESV / 21 helpful votes

    Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

    Proverbs 23:20-21 ESV / 19 helpful votes

    Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

    Colossians 2:20-23 ESV / 16 helpful votes

    If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations— “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

    Psalm 104:15 ESV / 16 helpful votes

    And wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart.

    Ephesians 5:18-20 ESV / 15 helpful votes

    And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

    1 Timothy 6:10 ESV / 14 helpful votes

    For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

    Romans 14:21 ESV / 14 helpful votes

    It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.

    1 Timothy 3:8 ESV / 10 helpful votes

    Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain.

    Matthew 7:12 ESV / 10 helpful votes

    “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

    Galatians 5:21 ESV / 8 helpful votes

    Envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

    1 Corinthians 5:11 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.

    Luke 7:34 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

    Habakkuk 2:15 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    “Woe to him who makes his neighbors drink— you pour out your wrath and make them drunk, in order to gaze at their nakedness!

    Psalm 150:1-6 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! ...

    Ephesians 5:1 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

    1 Corinthians 8:9 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.

    1 Corinthians 6:9-10 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

    Luke 7:1-50 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    After he had finished all his sayings in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. Now a centurion had a servant who was sick and at the point of death, who was highly valued by him. When the centurion heard about Jesus, he sent to him elders of the Jews, asking him to come and heal his servant. And when they came to Jesus, they pleaded with him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him, for he loves our nation, and he is the one who built us our synagogue.” ...

    Matthew 5:13-16 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

    Hosea 4:11 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Whoredom, wine, and new wine, which take away the understanding.

    Ecclesiastes 3:7-8 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    A time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

    Proverbs 31:4-5 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.

    Proverbs 23:31 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly.

    Psalm 104:14-15 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate, that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart.

    Numbers 6:2-3 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    “Speak to the people of Israel and say to them, When either a man or a woman makes a special vow, the vow of a Nazirite, to separate himself to the Lord, he shall separate himself from wine and strong drink. He shall drink no vinegar made from wine or strong drink and shall not drink any juice of grapes or eat grapes, fresh or dried.

    Esther 2:15 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    When the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his own daughter, to go in to the king, she asked for nothing except what Hegai the king's eunuch, who had charge of the women, advised. Now Esther was winning favor in the eyes of all who saw her.

    Isaiah 55:1 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

    Isaiah 5:11 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Woe to those who rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink, who tarry late into the evening as wine inflames them!

    Ecclesiastes 3:2-6 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

    Proverbs 31:6-7 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.

    Proverbs 31:1-31 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. ...

    Proverbs 23:31-32 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder.

    Proverbs 23:29-35 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaining? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who tarry long over wine; those who go to try mixed wine. Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart utter perverse things. ...

    2 Kings 4:43-44 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    But his servant said, “How can I set this before a hundred men?” So he repeated, “Give them to the men, that they may eat, for thus says the Lord, ‘They shall eat and have some left.’” So he set it before them. And they ate and had some left, according to the word of the Lord.

    Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
    Welcome. Please know this is a safe place. Feel free to share.

    ~4tRACY520

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